I've got WORLD CUP FEVER! Not really, silly. Football is reaaaallllly boring and I shan't be watching any, not ever. But I knitted these footballers anyway:
I went to the dentist today. Upon entering the treatment room I discovered that my nice lady dentist had been mysteriously replaced by a hulking great Russian who promptly set about my mouth with a pick-headed axe before vigorously sanding down my teeth and gums with an orange flavoured paste of ground glass and hot gravel.
As I staggered to my feet to leave, blinking grit from my watering eyes, he turned to me and bellowed in a stern, monotone Russian accent:
"DON'T FORGET TO FLOSS"
Suddenly, the penny dropped. I looked directly into his glowing red eyes and nodded solemnly, communicating my acknowledgment of the grave responsibility that had been bestowed upon me. The room fell silent, save for the gentle creaking of his battered leather jacket. I left without a backwards glance.
My dentist is an unstoppable humanoid cyborg sent back through time to ensure my teeth remain intact at all costs. In the future, I will be required to eat something extremely important in order to save all humanity.
I hope it's cake.
Get a load of this! I am in Simply Knitting magazine. The back page, no less. That's the magazine equivalent of the back seat of the bus, where the driver can't see you messing about and stuff.
OK, I'm sorry for not bragging about this earlier, but TADA!
10 Wonderful Knitted Movie Characters.
Thanks Total Film! You're way better than Empire magazine.
It took me 15 minutes to log into my blog, as I had forgotten both my username and password. Then I had to guess the unfathomable nonsense anti-spam verification word about 40 times (granhanks? crobnatch?). You're lucky I'm here at all.
While you're here, feast your eyes on just a fraction of my windowbox produce this year. I am currently cultivating a glut of peppers, which may make their way into some hot pepper sauce, if I don't eat them all first.
