Friday, January 26, 2007

magic hat

If you are feeling old, you could do a lot worse than to pull on a wooly hat and pay a visit to the new Co-op on Cowley Road in Oxford, where, for the price of a bottle of Cava, you can confuse the youth behind the counter into thinking that you are under 18, eliciting a flat refusal to serve you without any ID.

Then even after you have explained your real age, a figure so alarmingly high that nobody in their right mind would believe that you could be making it up, the realisation will slowly dawn on you that there's a very good chance you will be leaving the shop empty handed.

Of course, if you actually want to drink the booze, you must ensure that you take along some friends who are, like, 7 years younger than you and still actually have to carry ID around, so they can buy it for you. (Note to youth behind counter - if you sell alcohol to someone (my friend V) who intends to supply it to a minor (me), you are still technically breaking the law.) Otherwise, it goes from being hilariously funny to being some kind of nightmarish scenario in which one can no longer just go into a shop and buy whatever one wants from off the shelves AT THE AGE OF 32.

Coming up next: Read about how I wear my magic wooly hat and attempt to get on the bus for half price! The hat is not for sale, sorry.

5 comments:

  1. Sometimes I get carded. I think the joyful look on my face gives me away as an old biddy every time.

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  2. you think you've got problems, take a look at this guy

    http://www.thisisthenortheast.co.uk/display.var.1144654.0.pensioner_refused_bottle_of_sherry_in_age_row.php

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  3. I got magic huge headphones, once they got me ID'd for trying to buy a small tin of Brillo... one should make a fashion label of it for the midlife-crised... would be dead confusing for the kids, they'd have to all start going around with walking sticks and pocket watches...

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  4. I went in that very same shop the other day, with pink wooly hat, body warmer, wellington boots and the intention to buy beer and they allowed me to buy it, without so much of a glimmer of ID being required. Which was a little depressing, as I've brought my ID out especially, due to your warning in this blog.

    I may try again in a different outfit...

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  5. dear cakeyvoice,

    i miss you. please come back so i can read your blog and procrastinate further on the homework i ought to be doing. your blog is just so darn great.

    your friend, lisa

    ReplyDelete