Thursday, July 27, 2006

freestyle breakfast biscuits

Wuzzup y'all! Many hours have I laboured in the research kitchen, perfecting the formula for what is surely the culinary equivalent of the holy grail - biscuits you can justifiably eat for breakfast.

Large quantities of oats were harmed in the making of this recipe, but, as Bill McNeal would say, the final cut has got the mad flavour that takes any situation to the next level, so tighten up your flow with this recipe for the biscuit that'll keep you ugly all night long. DAMN!!!


1 cup porridge oats
1/2 cup plain wholemeal flour
1/2 cup raisins
1 tablespoon soft brown sugar
3 tablespoons tahini paste OR smooth peanut butter
2 tablespoons runny honey
2 teaspoons ginger
1/2 teaspoon baking powder
1/2 teaspoon cinnamon

ANY or ALL of the following (You're freestyling! Rock the microphone!):

1/4 cup sesame seeds
1/4 cup pumpkin seeds
1/4 cup sunflower seeds
1/4 cup rye flakes
1/4 cup chopped nuts (almonds or cashews are best, IMO)
1/4 cup chopped dried fruit (dates, crystallised ginger, apricots, cherries, blah blah blah)

Stick the oven on at about 180C, Gas Mark 4.

Mix all the dry ingredients up in a big bowl. Measure out the wet ingredients into the bowl, and give it a stir. Sprinkle over a couple of tablespoons of hot water, and get brutal with a spoon - give it a good old mash-up.

It's gonna look like spaz at this stage, but don't be disheartened. Just get in there with your hands and work it. You're aiming for something that will hold together without being too sticky. Do whatever it takes! You can add a bit more flour if you feel like it. Use The Force, if needs be - it's the energy field that binds the galaxy together, after all.

Now you'll need a baking tray - I always use non-stick baking parchment to line baking trays, because it totally rules, but greasing it would probably work OK. Probably.
No messing about, dump the whole pile onto the tray, and flatten it out with your hands or a rolling pin. If you wanted to, you could roll it out on a floured surface and cut it into shapes. Because I am pretty lazy, I like to just cut it up into squares right there on the sheet.

Stick the tray in the oven for about 15 minutes, or longer, or shorter, whatever. Serve with chocolate milk or orange juice, and you're done.

I eat these all the time, and they are GOOOOD, kind of like flapjack, only without all the butter & sugar. They only take 10 minutes to make, and they're super cheap. Miraculously, they seem to last for weeks, even if you leave them lying around on the side, like I do. You could probably use one to wedge a door open, or as a rustic paperweight. Or perhaps carry one around in your top pocket, to throw into the face of a potential assailant. They're pretty versatile like that.


  1. I will make my children bake them.

  2. PS that plate is would look great along side my Portmierion green TOTEM full dinner service and coffee set.

  3. It's an Alfred Meakin plate. Cost me 30p from the chazza - I've only got one though!

    How sad are we, talking about PLATES? I might start up a separate blog where we can compare crockery in secret.

  4. just a quick note on your penultimate sentence as you may be inadvertantly encouraging people to carry an offensive weapon. Offensive weapons can be put into 3 catergories, those that are offensive per se (e.g. flick-knives, butterfly knives), those adapted for such a purpose (a deliberately broken bottle), and those not made or so adapted, but carried with the intention of causing injury. These biscuits potentially fall into that last catergory as intention of causing such injury can be offensive or defensive (Patterson v. Block [1984] 81 L.S.Gaz 2458). I'm not saying don't carry these snacks in public kids, i'm just saying be careful .

  5. pah! I break the law ALL THE TIME just cos I know you'll get me off the hook, Antoine. In fact, I'm going to bake some broken glass into my next batch.

  6. Thanks a lot, they sound great.
    Will bake some next time I go hiking (or variable ballast diving).

    [Had wanted to say hello for a while, and this time created a blogger account on purpose - pity we can't comment using only an email address or another blogging ID.]


  7. i would bake these, but i can't be bothered. ha!

    i like blogs a lot now han, and its mostly your fault. mine has been going three months now, and mostly when i'm doing stuff i'm trying to decide whether to blog it...i blame you!

    still, only 3 months til i get on your hallowed links list! thats the day i know i've arrived!

  8. Just had a minor freak out. I was looking through some Truck Festival photo's on Flickr, and noticed there was a cakeyvoice. Were you there! Did it not rock hard?! I was there and it was awesome. What bands did you see? sigh, to be back in England, Trucking along would be very nice, but alas, not to be!

  9. yeah! i was lucky enough to get down there on the Sunday - my first Truck ever! It was ULTRA hot (I missed Saturday's torrential rain) and they had run out of cider (luckily I brought my own).
    Highlight of the day for me was watching the Young Knives do an acoustic version of 'part timer' for radio 6, down in the market field.

    Next year I'm going for the whole weekend, fer sure.