Eagle-eyed fans of DOTD were right to enquire about the omission of Tom Savini's character from my knitted set of Dawn of the Dead figures. What was I thinking!
When a fan of the movie contacted me a few months ago to tell me he had printed out some pictures of my knitted characters to show to the cast at a convention, I started to panic. He later informed me that he had seen Tom at the convention, but not spoken to him. He had, however, shown the pictures to Gaylen Ross and a few other cast members. These things get around, you know, and I convinced myself that Savini had noted my glaring oversight and would be coming after me to chop me in the head with a machete, like I deserved.
But, so far, he has yet to drive his motorcycle through my front door... so without further ado, I present to you my knitted tribute to Tom Savini.
Tom Savini is surely one of the coolest guys ever to grace the movie industry. As well as executing his own kick-ass stunts, he can whip up a bloodbath of special effects at a moment's notice, makes up a mean zombie, holds his own as an actor, and even directed a decent re-make of 'Night of the Living Dead' in 1990.
The time I was unfortunate enough to find myself watching 'Children of the Living Dead', I switched it off in disgust as soon as Deputy Hughs croaked. Not because this was The Worst Film I Have Ever Seen, but because the bottom line is this - Tom Savini may kill you, but you may not kill Tom Savini. He's THE MAN, plain and simple. If you don't believe me, check out the facts:
- Tom Savini can deflect a roundhouse kick from Chuck Norris with the glare from his machete.
- When Tom Savini chops an onion (with his machete), the onion cries.
- There is no chin behind Tom Savini's beard. Only another fist. Holding a machete.
- Tom Savini can fold a piece of paper in half infinity times.
- Tom Savini sleeps with a pillow under his machete.
- Tom Savini can derive Euclid's fifth postulate from the other four, merely by threatening them with his machete.
- When programming a computer, Tom Savini does not need to write a C++ string to slice off a target value by the size of the base type - he uses a machete.
- Tom Savini broke the mountain's back in 'Brokeback Mountain'. With his machete.
- Tom Savini eats little pieces of shit* like you for breakfast. Or something.
*Tom Savini definitely does not eat little pieces of shit. Ever.