Sunday, December 26, 2004

on location

Well here I am at my parents' house having a sneaky go on my Dad's computer. This computer is precisely one hundred million times faster than mine, and I am wondering how I can stuff it into my bag without my Dad noticing. I am also wondering if he will notice the pastry crumbs I have sprinkled into the keyboard. Eeeps.
Yesterday I mostly got drunk and ruined all Dad's home movie making efforts by encouraging people to indulge in their favourite sweary playground rhymes. Dad started it though! When he was a kid, the bravest thing you could say was;

"I'm a little fairy, I don't swear. BUGGERBUGGERSHITSHIT I don't care"
to which my response was, naturally;

"Arty Farty had a party, all the farts were there. Tooty Frooty did a beauty & they all came out for air"

Things gently ground to a reluctant halt when it looked like Mum might start to get mad. I had already totally won anyway, with my daring rendition of;

"Shit Bugger Arsehole, Piss Crap Fart, Somebody stole my horse and cart"

After dinner Dad dug his old Sailor Lp's out, and I realised I spent my early childhood singing along with bawdy songs of hookers and substance abuse. No wonder I've turned out the way I have.

1 comment:

  1. As an ex-sailor myself I can say that hookers and substance abuse made me what I am today, young lady!

    Somebody kill me, please...